I am sitting in my bed typing with tears streaming down my face and snuggling next to my sweet baby girl. It has been a difficult morning for my momma's heart. Chelsea has been diagnosed with Epilepsy. She has been having what seemed like a slight tick for almost a year and they have become more frequent and been joined by moments of pure catatonic state that last about 30 seconds. I brought up the tick with the pediatrician at her 18 month well visit but he said given her age we should just watch it and take note. Then about two months ago when we were traveling to celebrate my grandpa's 80th birthday Chels had a convulsing seizure. It was to date the worst day of my life. The seizure was accompanied by a fever and the medical team at the hospital felt confident it was a febrile seizure. Which if you don't know 1 in 10 children experience before the age of 2. My brother had experienced this when he was little and given the fact I was 16 at the time remember very clearly how scary it was. My brother never had another and is very healthy, so I knew it wasn't a definite symptom of something more serious but something didn't settle well in my spirit.After a few promptings from my sweet aunt and much discussion with my logically husband we made the decision to search out more information. Since we live in such a fantastic part of the country it just so happens that a leading force in studying seizures in children is right here at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. We called and booked an appointment. Chelsea had an EEG the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and we followed up with an amazing neurologist, Dr. Sarah Aminoff Kelley, this morning. So here we are in the beginnings of this journey. Honestly, I am scared. I am scared for my sweet girl and what this could mean for her life. I am scared that the MRI we are scheduled to have will turn up something terrible. But I don't choose to stay in that place of fear. I choose to trust that there is a bigger plan in all of this. I choose to trust that God is in control no matter what. Fear does not equal life and my hearts biggest desire is to live this life I have been given to the fullest. I choose to be thankful that my sweet girl is here next to me and I will do whatever it takes to help her dream big in this life and to go after those dreams.
Now that I have this heavy off my chest and written down, back to snuggles!
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