Hearts Transformed

I have continued to have a very tiny little corner of my heel dug in about our now three year old move to Maryland. I have continued to think of Nashville as HOME. I have let a large part of my heart long for my life back there. What is so wrong with all of this? I have missed a lot of what was my present and now is missed opportunity. I was choosing not to remember the lonely times when I felt like I didn't know anyone. I forget the months when I wasn't sure how I was  going to pay rent. The truth is that there was really great times in Nashville but there were some heartache mixed in as well.  It has been a year of letting go and I haven't even seen Frozen. I am trying really hard to live in the present  I am trying really hard to remember things in totality instead of parts  Remembering isn't bad but getting stuck isn't helpful. 

I am sitting in my bed typing with tears streaming down my face and snuggling next to my sweet baby girl. It has been a difficult morning for my momma's heart. Chelsea has been diagnosed with Epilepsy . She has been having what seemed like a slight tick for almost a year and they have become more frequent and been joined by moments of pure catatonic state that last about 30 seconds. I brought up the tick with the pediatrician at her 18 month well visit but he said given her age we should just watch it and take note. Then about two months ago when we were traveling to celebrate my grandpa's 80th birthday Chels had a convulsing seizure. It was to date the worst day of my life. The seizure was accompanied by a fever and the medical team at the hospital felt confident it was a febrile seizure . Which if you don't know 1 in 10 children experience before the age of 2. My brother had experienced this when he was little and given the fact I was 16 at the time remember very clearly

There are many areas of my life that I feel I have a pretty good handle on, at least most days.  My little family is doing well, my extended family is a blessing, I have a strong belief system and friends that love me. I am doing well and trying to do good.  Here is the hang up. My two sore subjects: I have spent too much money on junk and I eat entirely too much junk. So what am I going to do? I am going to use this amazing product Plexus Slim and I am going to get everyone else to use it too.  Please check it out and get ready to be inspired. Today is December 2 2014 and 50 weeks from today I am going to be 50 pounds lighter and 50k closer to financial success! Join me! before 12/02/2014

Best of intentions and so many starts but here I am more than a week past the last post and I am beating myself up. This is not the point. The point is to get a perspective out there. I have so much spinning in this head all the time. I was just thinking the other day how I need a microphone that will record around me at all times and then I though well I could get a little recorder. But in all honesty I would just record all my random thoughts and never listen back to them. I think like anything else in life we have good ideas but unless we put some goals and deadlines to those ideas they certainly never get accomplished. So here you go, three things I want to accomplish this week. 1. Call about the charger I left in the hotel back in October. Probably too late. Probably don't have it. Yes, but does it hurt to call and ask. 2. Take the SD card from the camera so I can try and remember the last place I took pictures because not only have I lost the battery charger for the came

Let me start this post by giving you a little background. I come from a family of strong women, very strong women. I don't mean the pulling trucks with their teeth kind of strength, I mean the pull yourself up by your boot straps kind. Perfect example, My grandmother likes to say of other women who are complaining about pregnancy or labor, "She speaks as though she is the first woman to ever have a baby?" So early on I was taught "weak" women were bad and "strong" women were good. I carried that view for many years. As I entered college, I swore that I would never do anything as silly as join a sorority. I carried that attitude on trips with friends, on women's retreats, and at women's conferences. But then, I grew up or at the very least I grew. I grew to see that the women in my family have as many fears and insecurities as most other women. It was more a lack of being honest and vulnerable than actual strength I had experienced as a child.

I was driving home the other day and all of a sudden a really large bird swoops down in the grass to the side of my car and grabs a snake. It seems effortless. The bird never stops flying. It just rises in front of my car and flies away with its prize tightly grasped in its claws. I am certain this thing happens all the time but very few times have I witnessed such a feat in person. There were several thoughts that ran through my mind. The first being, “Dang that bird has a snake!” Followed by, “Dumb bird you better fly or I am going to take you and your bounty out with this car.” But those thoughts aren't very inspiring so on to the “meaty” thoughts. I thought how I want to be the bird. I want to focus in on my goals, dive wholeheartedly into them and then glide off into the horizon with my tangible sense of accomplishment grasped tightly in my hands. However, I think more often than not I feel like the snake. Going about my day none the wiser to the talons about to carry me off

Ever feel down? Ever feel like there is no one else who understands where you are coming from? Of course, you do. But the truth is we aren't alone. Especially now in this insta-tech (I may have coined a new phrase) world. I mean it never fails if I wake in the middle of the night or if I am spending time in the middle of the day, there is ALWAYS someone else on social media. People are posting pictures of themselves, or their food or whatever else is catching their fancy. We are sharing our opinions and sharing "news" but are we sharing our lives? I try very hard not to get caught up in the competition that is out there. I recently read a Huffington Post article belaboring the new holiday craze trends that social media sites tend to feed. It was a hilarious article but it really hit the head of a bigger issue. When we are exposed to so much more, we have to decide what to do with this information. The new ideas are a great place to draw inspiration but they can become